I just don't know.....

I officially hate going anywhere for the simple fact that everybody who I run into just has to ask the pretentious question, "How are you?" Usually they have a smile on their face, as we quickly pass by eachother. Other times I get that pained sympathetic look which I equally hate being faced with.
I know peoples' intentions mean well. I really do. But oh my God, do they REALLY want to know how I am? Or is one of those things where I'm just supposed to suck it up, fake a smile, and say, "Fine." Or even worse, "Good."
Am I allowed to let my true feelings out, turn into a big puddle of tears on the floor, kick and scream, and rant on about how life isn't fair because my baby is DEAD and I will (in all likelyhood,) never see her again.........?
How am I supposed to answer that question????
I feel like I'm doing Freja an injustice by not telling the world openly how upset I am that I don't have her anymore. I don't want to just move on and live life like nothing happened. I will never be the same.