TERROR

The kids and I went to the park for a good part of the afternoon. On our way home, my 6 year old whom I refer to as Princess on here, asked what was for dinner. I didn't have anything planned at that point, so after much begging on behalf of the kids, we decided to order a pizza.

We went to pick it up and the lady who was working reached behind the counter and pulled out two lollipops. I HATE LOLLIPOPS! I am not one to give my kids candy often at all, but ANYTHING is better than a lollipop. I am hugely terrified of choking. But, seeing as how it was appeasing my 23-month old, I figured it wouldn't hurt and would keep her from screaming during the drive home which is only a couple of blocks. I briskly whisked it away from her upon our arrival home.

We ate our pizza and then the kids left the table and went into the living room to play while I cleaned up. Somehow during this time, Princess decided that she wanted her lollipop, and she also gave Boo hers. I had hoped that they would've been forgotten about by this point.

Not long after, Princess called out to me frantically. I ran to Boo, who was gagging, unable to catch her breath, with a bare lollipop stick in hand. I knew immediately that it had somehow come off the stick and she had swallowed it whole. I pulled her up to me, as I screamed and freaked out. She momentarily caught her breath, but it was obvious that something was still obstructing her airway as she couldn't speak and there was a look of desperation in her eyes. Then the gagging and vomiting began again.

I ran into the kitchen to try to find the phone to dial 911. It was right about then that she began to turn purple and go limp in my arms. "OH MY GOD, NO NO NO, PLEASE DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO MY BABY," I begged. Feeling her body go lifeless in my arms made the final moments of Freja's life come rushing back into my mind. "OH MY GOD, PLEASE DON'T TAKE ANOTHER CHILD FROM ME! I CAN'T LIVE THROUGH THIS AGAIN!!"

My fingers fumbled so badly that I hit every number but 911. I threw down the phone and ran out the door to drive the couple of blocks to the hospital myself. Princess followed behind me, hysterical, begging for her sister to not die. I put Boo, who at this point was able to breathe again, on my lap before sitting her next to me in the front seat of the car. She seemed okay as we headed toward the hospital. Scared, but okay. I was shaking uncontrollably. We circled around the hospital a couple of times before I decided she was going to be alright, then headed home.

When we got in, I went straight to my bedroom with Boo and held her, both of us covered in puke and oblivious to everything but eachother. I held her close against my chest and rocked her. I am so incredibly glad that she is okay, it is terrifying to think that in an instant, things can go so horribly wrong.

I will definately be hugging my kids extra tight before I tuck them into bed tonight.