Stressed

I just can't seem to catch a break....
Somehow in the chaos of last month, I overlooked my gas bill which needed to be paid. I don't know how I missed this. I paid the phone, internet and water bills, but I missed the gas bill. Just when I think I'm keeping my head above water, there's always a catch. Money is becoming a huge source of stress for me. With Princess turning six, I've been cut-off from the $100/month subsidy that the government gives to families with kids under six. Some days I'm so overwhelmed and I figure I should just do what everyone else seems to do - Stick my kids in daycare and go find some crappy job that leaves me feeling guilty and unsatisfied. I just don't know.
I went for a drive by myself last night. I just had to get away. It seems that most days, hopping in the car, usually with the kids, provides a nice comfortable outing. We get "out," but I'm not faced with having to talk to people about trivial things. I've been timing it during the day so that Boo naps while we drive to a near by town. We drive down the winding roads along the lake with music on, usually I take a cup of tea for the ride and snacks for the kids. It's a beautiful area, full of quaint little cottages. It feels so welcoming, and makes me happy every time I go. The kids have come to enjoy out routine. I guess it helps that we usually stop for ice cream and play time on the beach or playground before we go home. I'm really trying to give them the opportunity to get out and have fun, it's hard though when I don't feel like going anywhere.